How to Deal With a Partner With Low Libido

There is no worse feeling than that of rejection from someone you care for. You put yourself out there hoping to be met with the same desire you have for them - and yet, they seem disinterested in sex. Maybe they say they’re too tired, or perhaps they give no reason at all.

Either way, the effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship quickly start bubbling to the surface - dissatisfaction with the relationship, a feeling like something is missing, more fights, infidelity…these are all common consequences of intimacy-related issues.

The good news is there are quite a few things you can try to restore the physical connection you once felt in your relationship. We’ll show you how to deal with a partner with low libido below, from understanding the issue itself to techniques you can try to get back on track.

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Why Does My Partner Have Little to No Interest in Sex?

You may not quite realize what libido is, other than the fact that it influences your desire for sex in some way. This term is a more scientific way to discuss sex drive. But it’s deeper than that, as low libido can take a toll on your overall health and happiness.

Libido naturally fluctuates over time. It won’t always be through the roof. So, you might not want to start freaking out just yet if you’re dealing with a partner with low libido. However, there does come a point when a significant or sustained drop is cause for concern.

Understanding what could be causing this issue is a great first step towards addressing it. There are a few reasons your partner might be feeling less interested in sex, and we’ll unpack those below.

Physical Factors

Most often, low libido can be traced back to a physical issue - like hormonal imbalances, more specifically, a decrease in testosterone or estrogen. Other common causes include:

Medications: Antidepressants, antihypertensives, and birth control pills can sometimes diminish sexual desire as a side effect. Think about any medication they might be on.
Chronic illnesses: Diabetes, heart disease, and obesity are all examples of illnesses that affect energy levels, and subsequently, sex drive.
Fatigue and sleep issues: Sleep deprivation and chronic fatigue can sap energy and lower libido, leaving little desire to engage in sexual activity.

Psychological Factors

Mental and emotional health has a massive impact on sexual desire, too. Stress, anxiety, and depression are notorious for killing libido.

Think about it like this - how could you possibly open yourself up to another person when you can’t get out of your own head? If you know your partner is struggling with one of these disorders it could be the culprit.

Or, it could be something as simple as low self-esteem or negative body image. A lack of confidence can deter one from being naked around someone else, even someone they’ve trusted before. This is especially common after pregnancy, as we discuss in our guide on how to bring back intimacy in a marriage.

Speaking of trust, unresolved conflicts and emotional disconnection in your relationship can create a barrier to physical intimacy, too. Even if it’s trauma from a past relationship and not your own doing, it will prevent your partner from opening up sexually.

Lifestyle Factors

Sometimes, it’s just poor lifestyle choices that are hindering your partner’s sex drive. Libido tends to be a fairly good barometer for overall health. If they don’t take good care of themselves it can show in a lack of sex drive.

This is why a good diet and regular exercise are so important, as is stress management. Substance abuse can manifest in libido problems as well. So, take note of your partner’s self-care routine. It may be time to encourage them to start spending more effort on themselves!

Distinguishing Between a Temporary Phase and a Deeper Issue

Before you freak out and implement our advice on how to deal with a partner with low libido, it’s worth noting that - as we touched on earlier - libido fluctuations are perfectly normal.

If it’s short-term and aligns with external factors like work stress or an illness, it may resolve on its own. However, if the lack of interest is prolonged and persistent, it could signal an underlying issue that needs to be addressed through medical or psychological support.

We say needs to be addressed, and we mean it. Let’s talk about the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship below before getting into how to deal with a low libido partner.

The Toll Having a Partner With Low Libido Can Take on a Relationship

So, what is physical intimacy so important for? The reality is that a relationship cannot survive without it. While sex is just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to intimacy, it’s an essential piece that can’t be replaced.

We said from the start that there is no worse feeling than your own partner rejecting you, leading you to believe they’re not attracted to you or that something else is wrong with you. In turn, your own self-esteem gets chipped away over time the longer the issue festers - even if it’s unrelated.

Both partners will start to feel the emotional distance growing between them with a massive gap in the relationship, too. The bond that comes from regular physical affection and sexual connection may weaken, leading to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and even resentment.

This makes it harder to address the problem constructively, and sometimes, unresolved tension can even lead to anxiety or depression.

It’s a vicious cycle - you’re not having any sex, so more problems start popping up in the relationship, and you’re even less likely to have sex as a result.

Plus, there are tangible benefits to being physically close with your partner. Physical touch, from hand-holding to sex, can release feel-good hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. Without these, you are not experiencing some of life’s simplest pleasures.

Don’t worry, though, we can help you untangle this mess with our tips on what to do when your partner has low libido. Let’s get into it below!

How to Deal With a Partner With Low Libido

We don’t say this lightly - physical intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. So, if you feel that this is a real issue and not just a minor fluctuation in your partner’s libido, you need to act quickly. The sooner you do, the easier it will be. Here’s how to deal with a partner with low libido.

Start With Compassion and Empathy

This is a touchy subject, we probably don’t have to remind you of that. The last thing you want is to make matters worse and push your partner further away. This is why you must approach the situation with understanding rather than frustration.

Perhaps more importantly, remember that low libido can be influenced by everything from medication side effects to fatigue, illness, stress, or poor lifestyle choices. It’s very rarely a reflection on you. So, don’t beat yourself up either!

Open and Honest Communication

As uncomfortable as it may be, understanding how to talk to your partner about lack of intimacy is the first step towards resolving the issue.

Find the right time to bring this issue up, ideally, a safe place like your home. Rather than making accusations or focusing on the problem, frame the discussion around finding solutions together.

Express how you feel, but also ask how they’re feeling, and be willing to listen without judgment. They might clue you into a deeper issue in the relationship that you have more control over, like a lack of emotional intimacy barring them from being physically intimate with you.

Most of all, make sure you avoid any sort of accusatory language. Keep the conversation focused on yourself and the toll this issue is taking on you, maintaining a tone that shows you’re eager to find a way to resolve the issue together.

Focus on Building Emotional Intimacy First

In our guide comparing emotional vs physical intimacy, we mention that you can’t have one without the other. They go hand in hand. So, focus on building emotional intimacy before trying to have more sex. It will come so much more naturally this way.

Spend time bonding in non-sexual ways: long conversations, date nights, or activities you both enjoy. Emotional closeness is the foundation of physical desire. Rebuilding this connection will open the door to more frequent, and more fulfilling sex.

Addressing Potential Causes Together

Hopefully, that conversation you started this journey with will reveal a few potential causes for your partner’s low libido. Be proactive in helping them resolve those issues.

Maybe they feel too stressed for sex - book yourselves a couples massage, learn how to meditate together, or even just talk to them about their day or take responsibilities off their plate.

Or, perhaps its unresolved trauma. Encourage them to work through that with a professional, and let them know you always have an ear to lend if they want to dig into it with you.

The more willingness you show to help fix the problem that’s holding them back, the more receptive they’ll be to making changes. Be supportive - but patient.

Be Patient and Respect Their Pace

We know you’re eager to get back to full form in the bedroom. But this issue probably didn’t just pop up overnight - and you can reasonably assume it will take some time to repair it, too.

Pushing your partner too quickly or setting expectations for instant change can create more stress and distance. Respect their pace and give them the time they need to feel comfortable and ready.

Trust us - when the time finally comes, you’ll be glad you didn’t rush things. It’ll be well worth the wait!

Alternative Ways to Stay Physically Intimate

You came here to learn how to deal with a partner with low libido because you probably aren’t having as much sex as you’d like. However, this is just one example of physical intimacy.

Holding hands, cuddling, giving each other massages, or simply sitting close can slowly but surely rekindle that physical bond without the pressure of sex. Think about it like foreplay - you need to take your time in working up to more intimate forms of physical touch rather than rushing right into it.

Working Towards Sex

Before you know it, you and your partner will be emotionally closer than ever before and the physical intimacy advice we shared above will have both of you primed for something deeper.

So when the time comes, gently reintroduce sexual activity in a way that feels comfortable for both of you. Start slow, focusing on what brings you closer rather than trying to achieve a specific outcome.

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Knowing When Professional Help Might Be Needed

We’re confident this advice on how to deal with a low libido partner will help you get back on track. But after a few weeks of trying these tips and not seeing any progress, it might be time to consider hiring professional help.

Couples therapy, sex therapy, or consulting with a medical professional can provide deeper insights into what might be causing the low libido and help you develop strategies to overcome it.

We know it’s uncomfortable and in some cases embarrassing, but there is no shame in seeking outside help - sometimes it’s the only way to get back on the same page with your partner!

Closing Thoughts on How to Deal With a Low Libido Partner

That does it for our guide on how to deal with a partner with low libido. As frustrating and discouraging as this problem may be, it’s not nearly as uncommon as you might think.

But, it is something you need to address as soon as possible to prevent it from spiraling into a deeper issue. Fortunately, you know what to do when your partner has low libido.

Now that you know how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, it’s time to harness the secret weapon couples can’t get enough of - the best aphrodisiac chocolate at Tabs.

Introducing it when the time is right can be the perfect icebreaker - you and your partner will split a square in half, indulge in a delicious treat, and let the aphrodisiacs do the rest. Enjoy the ride!